Contemplation

Standing in the desert..estranged,cooped,alive....
The world is moving all around me,
but life seems to be in a standstill.
I see the colors, I see the life, I see spirit...
I hope I can do this.
Life is an unceasing struggle
One more struggle over n several others to come.
Should there be the joy for the shaft of light visible across the horizon
or the grief of an endearing, pure,virginal cerebration going into oblivion..

Two eyes, both evince love,care,affection...as pure as they can be..
Still stars can't be seen in the night,
Shadowed by silence, I close my eyes tight.
Pray against the odds of uncertainty, all I want is to believe....
I want to wish upon a star, but the sky seems so very far.

Behind these window blinds, I m holding back the tears and find
I think I shall never know, Why I m like this and you are so..

Hoping a beam of sunlight glowing into my begrimed cove through the
window...on a cold winter morning........

Diversity...

The flight expedition from Chennai to New Delhi was though usual, but full of ebullience in me, partly because I was returning home after 4 long months (why long? The second reason…) and partly because of completion of the rigorous two first quarters of the most sought after “MBA” degree.
So anyway, 2 beautiful creatures of God were my co passengers, a very pretty mother with an equally cute and smart little son. I was reading The Google Story (One of the initial trials of the transition in my interest from fiction to non fiction management books…the must for all MBAAAs), but couldn’t refrain my tympanic membrane to flutter with the sound of their conversation. Then I closed the book n tried sleeping, because of only 2 hours of the sleep last night [It’s my birthday that day n after the submission of final report of my last project at 10 at night, I was performing my duties to spend time with friends, cut the cake, treat them and attending the phone calls(I am one of the fortunate people of this world who have people around them to care for) ………the whole procedure lasted at 4 in the morning and 7:30 I had to leave IIT for airport] I started dozing off and the 2.5 hours passed cosily.
There is no much difference in Delhi and Chennai as being metro cities you can find all types of cultures and attitude in both the cities. From airport I went to my sis’s place….. on the way I could feel the difference between the type of people, the typical north Indians(in Delhi) and south Indians(in Chennai). Two days in Delhi n NCR, and finally the time came when I caught the train for my home town (a typical small north Indian city of UP).
In train I again resumed the transformation process of my interest, It was an overnight journey, I got in at 6 in the evening and was suppose to reach at my destination at 9 in the morning. In the morning from the window North Railway tagged lines were clearly visible, I enjoyed thinking about the diversity of India, two altogether different places, as if two different world. Just 3 stations before my hometown, the train suddenly stopped… the single line problem, because of which only one train at a time can got through that line, so this time some express train was passing by and to give it line, this train has to be stopped. I could hear people talking about politics, studies, prices….but they were all unaware of subprime crisis, they didn’t know about P&G’s strategy to enter in Indian market, they didn’t know about organized retail which can hamper the business of neighbourhood Kirana storekeepers…. In this journey, I got to see 2 faces of India.
The train got late…I arrived at 12:30. From the station straight to home. In this town mostly government servants, bank officers, teachers, professors, lawyers, farmers and businessmen stay. No CEOs, IITians, consultants etc….(Those who belong to corporate world, left the place like me n wonder in the same way when come here..... )Anyway, reached home, had the delicious food n slept off. In the evening I got up. The maid was talking about the new dress which my mom gave to her few days back. She was very happy, unperturbed by subprime crisis, cap on ECBs, FII and budget deficit of India…or even marks, grades, looks, attitude, BF, sophistication bug………………..This is also another face of India!!!

I want to see you, touch u, be with u........I want to talk to u, argue with u..where were u when everything was going wrong, ask you.......... was it really u who couldn't see it and wiped off my tears, went out of the way and blessed me with all the contentment.
I just want to tell u that I luv you, m not selfish....I belong to you n you belong to me
I care for u, though you don't need it, may be it's like a drop in the huge endless ocean, but it's true.
Yes, sometimes I think only 'bout me, but u too never forget to teach me hard lessons..

A teacher, a torch bearer of my life, a true companion or a guardian, u always played the appropriate roles mightly. U make me wonder how do u put structure in all the happenings..
I wanna know your contour, your dimention.. in space n time. r u the same form which my mind conceive or something beyond my imagination....
My contemplation says u r Purna, am I heading towards you? am I going in the right direction..from shunya to purna?
I m not a pure soul....very materialistic, selfish, schemer, purturbed mortal being...Can I make it here?
U can see I have to interrogate you....
U can see how daring I m, to question u........ the Almighty!!